Muslim divorces hit all-time high in Malaysia

The Jakarta Post, Hazlin Hassan, Asia News Network/The Straits Times | Fri, 05/27/2011 

Muslim couples get divorced every 15 minutes in Malaysia, a startling number that has the government worried.

The latest statistics from the Islamic Development Department (Jakim) showed there were 27,116 divorces in 2009, up from 17,749 in 2005.

Divorce rates among Muslims are now at an all-time high, making up about 82 per cent of total divorces in Malaysia, though Malay Muslims comprise 60 per cent of the population.

Divorce cases among well-known Malays often make headlines. Last year, popular actress Maya Karin announced she and her British husband Steven Shorthose were divorcing after just two years. This month, Mahmud Abu Bekir Taib, son of the Sarawak chief minister, divorced his wife of 19 years, Shahnaz Majid, due to irreconcilable differences. Shahnaz is seeking an eye-popping 400 million ringgit (US$132 million) in the divorce.

Irreconcilable differences - defined by Jakim as "disrespectful towards spouse, communication problems, selfishness, laziness, unwilling to help and psychological issues" - is one of the top factors for Muslim divorces.

Jakim provided a laundry list of other reasons including irresponsible spouses, health, sexual, social and financial problems, third-party interference, religious background and cultural differences.

However, the religious department did not break out polygamy as a factor - Muslim men are allowed four wives - though such issues could fall under third-party interference or irresponsible spouses.

The government blames the rising divorce rate on neglect of Islamic teachings. "If they can't even perform their five daily prayers, imagine how hard it is for them to carry out their duties and roles as husband and wife," Mashitah Ibrahim, deputy minister in the Prime Minister's Department, said last month.

Those who have gone through divorce, however, blame the breakdown of their marriages on the strains of modern life.

"There isn't any effective communication between spouses, especially when both are working and have children," said a 40-year-old advertising director, who is divorcing her unfaithful husband after 15 years of marriage. "They are busy with their own lives and their children's lives."

A 37-year-old business planning manager said his wife asked for a divorce after nine years because he was "too busy with work". They also found it "tough" to live in Kuala Lumpur on his 5,000 ringgit ($1,650) monthly salary, he said.

Younger couples appear at greater risk of divorce. In 2009, the most recent numbers available, separations were common among couples aged between 25 and 30 in the Malay-majority state of Terengganu. The reasons they gave included body odor, humdrum sex and boring sleepwear.

Singapore, by contrast, has managed to reverse the trend of rising divorces by raising the legal age of marriage to 21 from 18.

The number of Muslim divorces in Singapore dropped by 17 per cent over the last five years - to 1,626 last year - while the number of marriages with at least one partner under 21, fell by 35 per cent.

Malaysian sharia lawyer Halimatunsa'diah Abu Ahmad, said many couples, particularly younger ones, do not understand each other's obligations. "They are spoon-fed and expect to be rewarded all the time," she said. "They expect people to do everything for them."

The Facebook social networking site is a common cause of break-ups, she noted: "For every five divorce cases I see, two or three will have been caused by Facebook. That is where they rekindle their old relationships with their first girlfriend or boyfriend."

In Malaysia, Jakim is planning a campaign to create more awareness on the roles of spouses, parenting skills, family education and how to handle finances. Troubled couples may also seek counselling from state religious departments. Muslim couples already go through three-day pre-marriage courses.

But some feel the new campaign will not do much. The 40-year-old art director said: "Any initiative by the government in the form of education has many advantages. But I don't think it has anything to do with religion or faith per se. It's a society problem."