New Delhi
(AFP) - Vandna left everything behind when she fled her parents' home in India
to be with the man she loved, giving up family, friends and the studies she
hoped would help her become a teacher.
It is only
thanks to the Love Commandos, a New Delhi-based organisation that helps
desperate couples who have defied their families, that the 22-year-old and her
new husband have a roof over their heads.
The
organisation is the brainchild of former journalist Sanjoy Sachdev, who
launched it in 2010 after coming to the aid of a young man falsely accused of
rape by the family of the woman he wanted to marry.
Since then,
it has helped thousands of desperate couples in the socially conservative
country, giving them sanctuary in safe houses and access to legal advice.
The
organisation operates seven apartments in the Indian capital, but can also call
on 300 couples to take in lovers fleeing relatives' wrath for a short period.
"Some
stay with us 14 months, others 14 hours," said Sachdev.
Like many
young women in India, Vandna was expected to marry a man chosen by her parents,
who were furious when they discovered her relationship with Dilip, whom she
married in July.
They first
stopped her from going to college, where she was studying business and
accountancy, and then hastily arranged a marriage to a male relative.
That was
the final straw, and she fled the family home a day before the marriage was due
to take place.
"I
haven't called my parents or my friends since I left," Vandna told AFP,
sitting beside her new husband in the modest apartment provided to the couple
by the Love Commandos.
"I
want to be a teacher and my husband wants to set up his business, but we don't
know when that is possible," said the young woman, who rarely leaves their
apartment.
'Lovers'
rights'
India may
be modernising rapidly, but Sachdev says that violence against young people who
choose their partners against their parents' wishes is still a big issue.
"Because
of caste, religious, economic or social status issues, many times parents still
oppose their children's relationship," he told AFP.
"A lot
of young people try to convince their parents to accept their marriages, but
that often ends with girls having their education stopped and being illegally
detained. It can even end with honour killings."
India has
for centuries seen killings that target young couples whose families or
communities disapprove of their relationships.
The
killings are carried out by close relatives or village elders to protect what
is seen as the family's reputation and pride.
That was
the fate of 21-year-old Bhawna Yadav, whose parents and uncle are accused of
conspiring to kill her and dispose of her body after she married in secret.
Her family
had wanted her to marry a man from the Yadav caste to which her husband
Abhishek Seth did not belong.
When they
learned of the secret marriage, Bhawna's parents asked Seth to let her go back
to the community for a celebration, which he agreed to do on the advice of
friends. Shortly afterwards, he received a call from Bhawna's cousin to say she
had been killed and her body burned.
"We
had so many plans," Seth told AFP. "She wanted to go to Goa on
holiday and for us to have our arms tattooed with a heart and our
initials" -- a promise that he has kept despite his wife's death.
Love
Commandos founder Sachdev says horrific incidents like these often go
unreported, with even police sometimes happy to turn a blind eye.
He says the
authorities need to do better at protecting young couples, and even calls on
political parties to come up with an "agenda for the protection of lovers'
rights".
In the
meantime, he says more and more young people are finding the courage to marry
for love, defying pressures of family and society and even the threat of
violence.
And
although the tradition of arranged marriages remains strong in India, experts
say things are getting better.
"I
think education leads to greater involvement of girls in their marriage
arrangement," sociology professor Sonalde Desai told AFP.
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